© 2006 All Rights Reserved. Do not distribute or repurpose this work without written permission from the copyright holder(s).
Printed from https://danginteresting.com/curio/story-of-vaseline/
Robert Peary took it to the North Pole. There’s a song in its honor. It makes smiles sparkle. It’s used to coat the feet of vending machines to keep pests out. It controls unruly hair. People put it on chickens to prevent frostbite. It protects baby’s bottoms, and is invaluable to virgins. A tycoon swore eating a spoonful a day helped him live to see 96 years, and odds are that you have some in your home. It’s Vaseline.
The name Vaseline comes from the German word for water and the Greek word for oil—though I never thought German and Greek mixed. The inventor, Robert Chesebrough, was a purveyor of illumination oil and a chemist in England who saw that there was a greater fortune to be made dealing in petroleum than there was in the oils from whales with which he had been dealing. In 1859, at the age of 22, he spent his life savings on a ticket to Titusville, Pennsylvania to meet with the oil barons there. Upon touring the oil fields he noted a rigger scraping a thick, dark goo from an oil pump’s joint, and he asked about. It was explained that the troublesome wax-like gunk tended to come up with the crude, and collect on the rigging; if it wasn’t cleaned off periodically, it would gum up the works. And some people thought that it helped wounds heal faster—that notion lit dollar signs in his eyes, and he made off with a bucket full of the “rod wax”.
Seeing how the rod wax was worthless, he knew that he could make a large margin on it, and as a chemist, he quickly set to work purifying and clarifying the substance. It took him 10 years to make the colorless, odorless gel we’re accustomed to today. Bear in mind, however, that in the late 19th century, the only such oils available were lard, goose grease, olive oil, garlic oil, and some mustard plasters—if they didn’t start out as rank, a little time was prone to spoil them and make them that way.
He used himself as a guinea pig by cutting, stabbing, burning, and applying acids to himself and then treating the wounds with his wonder-salve. The first Vaseline factory opened in 1870, and the patent was granted in 1872. But he couldn’t sell the stuff. Pharmacists were uninterested, even when he showed them his self-inflicted wounds in various stages of mending.
So he took it on the road and gave Vaseline away. He gave roadside demonstrations of his masochistic experiments, and people took it, then went to their pharmacists to get more. Of course, the pharmacists had none, having spurned it before, ordered it in droves. Vaseline’s first major success came as medicine, which is ironic because later it was proved to have no curative power whatsoever—the only advantage to its use was the fact it kept grime and bacteria out of the injuries.
But no one could tell Chesebrough that it wasn’t a miracle. When down with a bout of pleurisy he ordered himself drenched top to toe with Vaseline, and he soon recovered. Shortly before his death he revealed that he’d been eating a spoonful a day for several years.
Is there anything it can’t do?
© 2006 All Rights Reserved. Do not distribute or repurpose this work without written permission from the copyright holder(s).
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Hmm, interesting. I never knew Vaseline was so useful.
Oh yeah, it’s up there with Duct Tape!
SEN said: “Oh yeah, it’s up there with Duct Tape!”
Vaseline can undo the sticky powers of duct tape… haven’t you ever played Duct Tape/Vaseline/Scissors?
Alan, in that version of RPS, does duct tape ever win, or vaseline ever lose? :-)
to think that a petro goo has that many uses lends truth to the reason i stay in the oil biz
The other day it dawned on my that in my lifetime I have never seen an ad for duct tape, or WD-40, but now that you mention it I have never seen an ad for Vaseline. I mean the real, slippery goo you speak of here. Interesting. I wonder at what point does a company realize that their product is so universal that advertising is no longer needed?
This is why we should go do something else. In order to make sure we have a long life supply of Vaseline.
After all, if we use up all the oil, what would we use for our poor old virgin friends? [You said it not me :D]
Interesting read, seems like a few articles were lacking, not this one though! Congratulations Mr. Bellows!
Rod Wax?!?!… oh that one is just too easy.. according to the rules I have to let that one go. lol
Vaseline is good for something that is by far under-appreciated: PRESERVING JACK-O-LANTERNS! ^_^
I’m sure anyone who has ever carved a pumpkin can relate: Jack-o-lanterns start getting soft and nasty a day after carving, and disgustingly fuzzy with mold after that.
Rubbing a generous layer of vaseline over all scraped and cut surfaces solves both problems: the petrolium jelly is impenetrable to water, so the vaseline treated pumpkin won’t dry out through the cut surfaces and wilt the way un-greased Jack-o-lanterns do. Furthermore, in the same way that Vaseline speeds up wound recovery by keeping germs out of cuts slathered in vaseline, it also keeps mold spores from colonizing your pumpkins when all interior surfaces are slathered in vaseline. (Mold spores apparently can’t establish themselves on petrolium jelly.) Anyone who has ever seen a shockingly moldy pumpkin knows exactly what I mean. Just imagine not having to deal with that anymore!
Be prepared to use a lot of vaseline. Pat dry all surfaces with paper towels before applying. Then, rub a generous coat of vaseline all over all cuts, and work it into the corners with a popsicle stick. Your neighbors will marvel at your mysteriously mold-free pumpkin well after theirs have turned into rotting stinking mushy pumpkin compost.
I propose February 14 be declared St. Vaseline’s day. Oh no wait, that slot is already filled by another…
Marius I think I remember a few years ago an tv advert for WD-40 in Britain. It was presented with Changing Rooms ‘Handy’ Andy if i remember correctly. So it was clearly a big budget campaign. Not sure why a lot of companies are still advertising, like Coca-Cola. I mean everyone knows what it tastes like and the only thing that determines whether you go with Coke or Pepsi is whats on sale in the particular shop/bar/cafe.
Won’t someone please think of the poor virgins?
Vaseline is not good for virgins because it is ‘lesion producing.’ (When used for this particular purpose.)
Water-based lube is the safest way to go. Just sayin’.
Enter your reply text here.
I’m more of a lurker than a register-er, but I had to say just what a joy many of these articles can be – does anyone know the difference (if any) between petroleum jelly and petrolatum jelly?
norton said: “…does anyone know the difference (if any) between petroleum jelly and petrolatum jelly?”
Actually, with petrolatum you don’t use “jelly” … “petrolatum” is the same thing as “petroleum jelly”.
Let me join merelyglib in saying that Vaseline is not a good for sex – except maybe you can put it on the doornob to keep kids out of the room.
Thank you, Alan! My boyfriend has been making fun of me since we met, saying I am a walking ad for Vaseline. (Although it has nothing to do with virgins, btw)! I don’t take offense because this stuff IS like duct tape. I have about a thousand uses for it. burns, cuts, dry skin, makeup remover, chapped face, i carry a little jar of it with me all the time. Yeah, I’m aware I look like a perv to some, but they just don’t know how useful this stuff really is. And now, pumpkins!
My B!! Thank you Jason, not Alan. (no offense, alan) ;)
“He used himself as a guinea pig by cutting, stabbing, burning, and applying acids to himself …”
How emo of him.
Erin1988 said: “”He used himself as a guinea pig by cutting, stabbing, burning, and applying acids to himself …”
How emo of him.”
lol. Emo scientists.
Rubbing a generous layer of vaseline over all scraped and cut surfaces solves both problems
Whenever I hear something like this I first think “Oh wow”Then I can’t stop myself thinking “Wait a sec what kind of perverse event led to the copious slathering of vaseline on pumpkins? Eh, eh! And don’t lie to me I know you didn’t just think of it I know there’s a darker side to this story.
“… and is invaluable to virgins.”
Vaseline is petroleum based, which eats through condoms, thus is not commonly reccomended for use as a lubricant for sex.
How do you know that it eats through condoms? >_
Considering the various polymers used in condom production, which are commonly much different from other rubber-based products, this leads me to believe that you’ve personal experience, my non-friend >_>
Well according to Planned Parenthood…
“..NEVER use Vaseline with condoms. It weakens the rubber. If you want extra lubrication, use spermicidal foam or jelly, or lubricating jelly.”
WebMD has this to say..
“..If you use lubricants with a condom, be sure to only use water-based lubricants, such as K-Y Jelly. Oil-based lubricants, such as Vaseline, can cause condoms to leak or break.”
And the US Surgeon General chimed in with..
..”If you use a separate lubricant, never use a product that contains oils, fats
or greases such as a petroleum-based jelly (for example, Vaseline), baby oil
or lotion, hand or body lotions, cooking shortenings, or oily cosmetics such
as cold creams. These can seriously weaken latex, causing a condom to tear
easily. If you are not sure which product to use, ask your pharmacist.”
Think that pretty much sums it up…
There’s a song about vaseline?
I know of one song by The Flaming Lips, which strangely brings me to my point. Not only does Vaseline dissolve condoms, but for the same reason it’s great for preserving carved pumpkins, it should never be used as a sexual lubricant. Unlike water-based lubes, sticky Vaseline tends to overstay its welcome in the delicate female ecosystem. This creates mayhem among the helpful bacterial inhabitants, and could cause harmful infections ranging from annoyingly itchy to seriously deadly. (I hate to party-poop, but all your jokes just ain’t funny.) Vaseline is great for many things, but you definitely should splurge for your ladyfriend and buy a safer product which is solely dedicated to the purpose. And give her some flowers once in a while too.
When I think about how condoms are dissolved by vaseline. I corelate it with this really strong sense memory of chewing gum, and like eating crackers or some such.
Aside from that, vaseline has always grossed me out.
The_Smurf_Strangler said: “There’s a song about vaseline?”
Yeah, Uh, I think it starts out with the words “Slip sliding away.” Uh or that might be the title. ;)
Vaseline is actually a song by the STONE TEMPLE PILOTS and it is a great song… you should check it out sometime
Seems to me that it would take a while for the Vaseline to degrade the latex in the condom. I’ve never known a man who needed to worry about it. :o(
Laurel
These days Vaseline isn’t really recommended for burns either – it just holds the heat in.
Go the aloe vera.
According to allmusic.com, there are three musical artists with a song entitled “Vaseline” – Elastica, The Slits, and Khan. The Stone Temple Pilots song is spelled “Vasoline” for some reason (and it really is, according to the liner notes). And the Flaming Lips song is actually called “She Don’t Use Jelly.” Other Vaseline-related song titles include “No Vaseline” by Ice Cube, “Coke & Vaseline” by Snake River Conspiracy, “Dance on Vaseline” by David Byrne, “Caffeine & Vaseline” by Josh Freese, and “Vaseline Machine Gun” by Leo Kottke, among several others from artists whom I’ve never heard of. For the record, the only use I’ve ever had for Vaseline was to protect my ears and hairline when I used to dye my hair black, to keep it from staining my skin. The jack-o-lantern idea is pretty cool, though. Moldy pumpkins are nasty.
is there anything that vasaline cant do?
SEN said: “Oh yeah, it’s up there with Duct Tape!”
i agree. but i think duct tape it better. can you make a vaseline wallet…i dont think so. duct tape all the way.
When my younget son was 6 years old, {he’s 35 now) he developed a bad case of warts on his left thigh. Four months later, after 2 dermatologists tried everything from freezing to cutting to acids, the warts were still there. My neighbor at that time, a retired general practitioner, told me to keep duct tape on them and change it only when it got too ragged. A month later, the warts were gone and have never come back.
To any new mothers out there: When my kids were in diapers, I used to go through a big jar of Vaseline every 2-3 days. Neither of them EVER had a diaper rash.
One of my motto’s that I go by is that duct tape solves everything, it’s really true. But I don’t really ever use Vaseline, I guess I should jump on that band wagon since it sounds like it has some really good uses.
EATING vaseline? yuck.
For the same reason you don’t see ads any more for Harely-Davidsons.
Actually these products all have ads out, from posters, bill board, magazine, and tv. For instance plain old Vaseline is being endorse by Sarah Michelle Gellar in TV as well as poster ads. The previous person was Hilary Duff. Other celebrities include John Leguizamo and Amanda Bynes. One recent Vaseline TV ad shown world wide was called “Sea of Skin”.
WD 40 has a TV ad in which two tin can robots are in the bedroom in a flip/comical takeoff on personal lubricant. They also have one in which a house wife played by Elise Romero uses the WD 40 pen to fix an alien’s spacecraft.
Harley Davidson has a TV commercial called “Black Sheep” that aired on October 8th. The music in the commercial is called “Better” from Guns N’ Roses latest release.
Though the super bowl commercial was for Doritos, a guy uses duct tape to seal his Doritos. When he leaves the apartment with his friends we get to see his roommate duct taped to the door. One ad for duct tape featured photos of a women duct tapped to power poles with actual duct tape.
The Don
Regarding the lack of commercials for “duct tape,” it should be noted that “duct tape” is the generic product, so lots of people make it. Duck Tape, on the other hand, is made by Duck Products, the company that made the stuff famous. Ironically, duct tape is not considered a good product for sealing ducts. Go figure.
Perhaps the “invaluable to virgins” comment had a different meaning than some have inferred? This also may allay some concerns from those who have spoken out regarding female health issues. In other words, to stay a “virgin” these days, lots of young girls are turning (so to speak) to other sexual activities. Do the health concerns mentioned previously regarding the use of vaseline apply to all orifices?
Johnson and Johnson Permacell created the original design of the tape for the war in 1942. Originally designed as a waterproof wrapping to seal ammo boxes, they used off the shelf materials to create it. The backing was cotton duck normally used for cloth medical wrap for its strength and durability. This was coated with a polyurethane sealant to keep it somewhat waterproof and to allow peeling tape off the roll. Finally the opposite face was coated with a thick layer of rubber based sticky adhesive. Urban legend states that it was called Duck Tape for either the cotton duck or because water beaded off it like a duck’s back. There are no records of either the military or the manufacture referring to it as duck tape during this period. There is documented reference by military personnel as referring to it as gun tape due to its use to seal ammo boxes or as the 100 mph tape because you can fix a jeep and still drive at 100 mph without the tape giving out.
Military personnel, possibly from watching too many shorts of a pants wearing, white gloved rodent’s inane ability to construct anything from simple garbage, soon discovered that the olive green tape was fantastic for quick fix-it jobs. This ammo box sealing, puke green stuff was wondrous at fixing guns to field repairs of jeeps and even aircraft. I once stumbled across a reference calling it butt tape, due to a painful hair-removing prank. Near the end of the war one enterprising individual found that it was great at sealing the joint leaks in heating duct, so a new version blossomed with a silver backing. This was the first documented case of the term duct tape being used, but still no reference of anyone calling it duck tape.
Now there was a patching product in use before WW2 called duck tape. It was not the predecessor of the tough super sticky stuff we now know as duct/duck tape. This stuff was originally made of linen, then later of cotton but not very sticky at all. It was used to mend seamen’s trousers and as a temporary patch for small holes in sails.
Doing a search on the copyright of the name duck tape I found it belongs to Henkel Consumer Adhesives awarded in 1982. According to the CEO John Kahl, his father named it that because when people asked for duct tape it sounded like duck tape. Since there were other companies selling a variety of products also called duct tape, this seemed a good way to make his product standout from the rest. This is also the first instance I have found digging through library newspaper ads and equipment supply catalogs prior to 1982 of the stuff being referred to as duck tape.
One misconception is that the stuff the average consumer purchased from the hardware store was not the same duct tape that was used to seal HVAC duct systems prior to 1990. It only shared a common name. Most professionals used a commercial grade tape to seal ducts that was thicker and had a different adhesive that was stickier than the consumer grade. Which is why many an average consumer wondered why the stuff they got at the local hardware store was called duct tape when it would not stick for any extended time to any ductwork.
The Don.
I guess Don’s right. I should have known better than to go on what I thought I knew to be fact. Next time I’ll hit the Internet, like Don, and actually do the research. Not sure about that 100 mph WWII jeep, though. Maybe going over a cliff, but I think the tape would give on impact.
But I will still contend that the lack of commercials has to do with the fact that a few people make duct tape, including Duck Products, of course.
Hey Sid, you were very correct in stating that duct tape is a generic term (though I think someone tried to trademark it in the 1980s). But Duck brand, 3M, and Gorilla do have ads for their version(s) of duct tape, to name a few. I have seen the various brands mentioned on the TV but usually as a product to use rather than a commercial. Gorilla Duct Tape is the biggie right now. A very sticky, did I mention sticky, tough tape.
Here is an interesting tidbit I forgot about. A mechanic friend told me how the aircraft would get damage on the aircraft radomes, and they would “patch-it” with duct tape until a replacement could be ordered in. I’m not just talking about prop aircraft, but the jet variety as well. He said the stuff could withstand the high speeds without problems and generally the patch would hold until a replacement dome came in, usually in about two to three weeks.
For those who don’t know what a radome is, its the nose cone of the aircraft. The radome houses the radar dish assembly protecting it from weather and debris impact (note: dust, insect, and the occasional bird). Comprised of a base honeycomb material with a multilayer of fiberglass finished with a special paint.
Even the smallest crack in the fiberglass can severely hinder the accuracy and strength of the radar signal by allowing water to infiltrate the base material. Because an aircraft is constantly in a state of flux during flight, the moisture will freeze and thaw degrading the base material creating soft spots. These damaged area(s) can create blind spots in the radar. This can mean life or death for an aircraft regardless if it is a small Cessna or an F-16. Both relay on a good, clean radar signal to warn of potential craft disabling obstructions, be it other aircraft, radio transmission tower(s), or even a mountainside.
So it seems that a good roll of heavy-duty duct tape can basically fit the bill. For such a low-tech product it did help save the Apollo 13 Astronauts by Mickey Mousing a fix for the CO2 scrubber. It also once again saved the day on the moon when it was used repair the Apollo 17 Moon Rover when Astronaut Cernan brushed against a fender extension, tearing it off.
Lost a fender, big deal right. Actually a very big deal as the moon dust would shower over the buggy and the Astronauts covering them in electrostatic grit. Think of those nasty little foam balls you get from packing material. How they stick to you and everything around you. Almost impossible to just brush off, you really have to make an effort to get rid of them. That’s what moon dust is like. This would darken the moon suits creating a more heat absorbent surface and possibly baking the occupants to death. The stuff also creeps into every hinge, joint, and shaft freezing them up and rendering them useless. Not to mention that trying to wipe the stuff off one’s visor caused scratches across the glass, making visibility difficult if not impossible with the suit helmets
Using duct tape they reattached the fender the first day, but it kept falling off. The second day NASA had them make a fender from two maps and duct tape; this one lasted out the mission. The duct-tape-map fender can be seen at the Smithsonian in Washington DC.
Not bad for the humble duct/duck/gray/Mickey’s dream tape.
The Don.
I do believe I’ve seen print ads in DIY magazines, but don’t recall any on TV. Then again, I tend to zone out or turn to conversation when commercials hit, so I’m likely missing quite a bit of advertising.
Technically, though, I think Gorilla Tape drops the duct reference, and actually tries to market itself as a better alternative to traditional duct tape. At least, that’s what I recall from the mags, so I could be mistaken. I’m also not sure if they suggest it could be used for ducts, but maybe they do. If it works in that application, maybe it would be better to refer to it as duct tape, and not the others.
When he says vasoline is invaluable to virgins, I think he means they’re using it for something you don’t need a condom for.
Eh hem.
Marius: I wonder at what point does a company realize that their product is so universal that advertising is no longer needed?
I wish McDonalds would hurry the hell up and realise this!
“Is there anything it can’t do?” Apparently it can be made in America. It’s another product that’s been offshored to China. Since this and a related product, Mentholatum, are things I grew up using on my face and around the nose and mouth when we had colds, that makes the product essentially unusable for those of us who don’t trust the quality of made-in-China products. Too bad. Another of many once commonplace items that no longer exist, no longer are of a quality one feels safe with, or simply no longer made in America.
Interesting commentary on duct tape!
Oops! make that “can’t”…
Oh. I thought it was “Duct Tape/Vaseline/Blow Torch”…
No wonder no one will play with me.
It was a turning point in my masturbation career.
Vaseline is amazing – it can be applied to the teeth to stop enamel from staining, used as a makeup remover and weirdly i put it all over my nose and mouth and ears and within about 7 hours a really bad cold will always go away . . .
I needed to know if Vaseline was used during WWII. Was in used
at Southampton hospitals. Great page. Enjoyed all the comments.
can branded vaseline that we get today be eaten?
is is pure petroluem jelly?
The Brothers Bellows:
Vaseline is a pretty slippery subject, but you seem to have a firm hold on the topic.